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Former Methodist Church Members
There Has Always Been Something Missing
By Steve Martin
As a young boy of 5 years old I started down my
religious path of Methodist. Going to church 2 and sometimes 3 times
a week was very normal for me. My family was part of the church
functions and was always available for extra things for the church.
We cooked and cleaned and it was very humbling for me to be so
active in my church at a young age.
But there has always been something missing, no
matter how I have tried and no matter how I dug I could never really
find what I was looking for.
Going to summer camp and going to Sunday school
all through the summer I always had so much fun. But never could
fill my cup" for some reason I would always leave everywhere I went
thirsting for more.
I learned bible verse after bible verse. I tossed
to and fro I knew the gospel front to back, Very knowledgeable. But
it was never enough.
I soon became active in Christian academy when I
was 13 I started going to Church with a friend of mine. I would
sleep over and get up with his family and we would go to church
every Sunday.
I realized how important Church was to my friend’s
family It really held them together. I tried to push that back onto
my family but was never heard.
My life took a crazy step over the next few years
where I was trying to go anywhere I could to try and find some sort
of comfort, answer, or acceptance.
Where ever I could. I went to Charismatic churches
and Extreme Faith Churches all I learned was the same thing over and
over, "Fear GOD Fear Jesus when he comes back he is going to pick
the ones that has followed his path." The path we all know all too
well as Faithful people.
So I had to step back and I really tried to
redefine my Life as a Religious person.
"How are we supposed to live? What are we suppose
to feel? What is it all going to Feel Like?" I kept asking myself
these things night and day. I was never getting any closer, but
never losing sight of the promise.
Many years passed when I was inactive I would read
my scriptures in hopes to hopefully pin point the perfect verse that
would sum it all for me. Never realizing it wasn't the scriptures at
all, it was my heart and soul.
I wasn't putting all my Strength and believe in
anything but what the word told me so. I had this Huge Epic Story of
many generations of many people’s lives, and so many wonderful
stories about how to overcome any obstacle. "JUST BELIEVE", that is
what I only knew. It was never enough.
I then started going back to church at a really
nice Methodist church where I essentially grew up at. I was able to
be part of the many wonderful blessing I had grown up knowing and
feeling so great to be a chaperone at my church that I grew up in
many years before.
Knowing so much more and becoming so much wiser
and astute as before. I was feeling so good about my Faith and my
Desires to be the best Christian I could be for my church. I was on
the path. I soon met a wonderful woman and she really pulled me even
deeper into the church life I was feeling so amazing.
The bottom fell out when I realized that she had
been lying to me, and cheating behind my back and doing drugs. This
really crippled me as a person. To know that the woman I have fallen
for and was very wise in the church was doing these atrocious things
with no disregard for herself or her family.
I prayed many nights crying out to the Lord to
please take Satan out of her heart. It seemed only to drive it
further down the wrong path.
I soon became bitter at my church for allowing
this to happen and went to my pastor on many occasions asking why he
wouldn't pray for her. He told me that she was beyond his control
and couldn't cast out the demon inside her.
At this Point I fell very deep into a dark hole.
Wondering why God, or Jesus, or anyone of Absolute would ever allow
this. Being on a High for many months and believing that life
couldn't get any higher I broke everything off with my Church that I
grew up in.
I tried not to blame the church or my faith; I
tried to not blame anyone because it’s just how it went. So I went
back into a hole again working and doing nothing but making money
and thinking it would solve my problems. And as we all know it
didn't because I was still alone in this world with my own version
of Faith. I never stopped and never left my Bible.
Then I started taking lessons from friends of mine
that had a friend that was on his mission. Well it was really good
to feel the power start to rush through my veins again and be able
to make progress. I was always very concerned about LDS people
because I grew up hearing the Cult Version of the stories.
I always tried to focus on important things that
allowed me to become a good Christian. Well so the story goes on. My
LDS friend starts really pushing LDS on me and it scared me as a
Christian I had never known someone to tell me I can't join him or
any of my family in my afterlife if I don't convert and know the
truth.
So I then again stepped back out of the church
light.
So now I am back on my track again. I really did a
lot of research and never stopped learning. I wanted to know why
this "friend" was telling me all these just horrible things why
would he act like I was a non-believer? I couldn't settle for that I
knew in my heart that I was a Good Christian.
So I got the Book of Mormon read it cover to cover
just like I did with my New King James when I was 10 years old. I
read all the amazing stories in there as well.
Almost 3 months ago I started taking lessons again
with my new found love and overwhelming joy. She has touched my soul
enabling me to express my desires to be a good Christian.
I graduated my lessons and had my interview just
over a month ago. I was Baptized on 6/22/07 and haven't been more
happy in my life.
Knowing the Truth of the Religion I always knew in
my heart and all the Things I have longed to feel are finally in my
heart and I know that someday I will face to face with Joseph Smith
and he will tell me how wonderful I am and how proud he is of my
choices.
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