There Has Always Been Something Missing

By Steve Martin

As a young boy of 5 years old I started down my religious path of Methodist. Going to church 2 and sometimes 3 times a week was very normal for me. My family was part of the church functions and was always available for extra things for the church. We cooked and cleaned and it was very humbling for me to be so active in my church at a young age.

But there has always been something missing, no matter how I have tried and no matter how I dug I could never really find what I was looking for.

Going to summer camp and going to Sunday school all through the summer I always had so much fun. But never could fill my cup” for some reason I would always leave everywhere I went thirsting for more.

I learned bible verse after bible verse. I tossed to and fro I knew the gospel front to back, Very knowledgeable. But it was never enough.

I soon became active in Christian academy when I was 13 I started going to Church with a friend of mine. I would sleep over and get up with his family and we would go to church every Sunday.

I realized how important Church was to my friend’s family It really held them together. I tried to push that back onto my family but was never heard.

My life took a crazy step over the next few years where I was trying to go anywhere I could to try and find some sort of comfort, answer, or acceptance.

Where ever I could. I went to Charismatic churches and Extreme Faith Churches all I learned was the same thing over and over, “Fear GOD Fear Jesus when he comes back he is going to pick the ones that has followed his path.” The path we all know all too well as Faithful people.

So I had to step back and I really tried to redefine my Life as a Religious person.

“How are we supposed to live? What are we suppose to feel? What is it all going to Feel Like?” I kept asking myself these things night and day. I was never getting any closer, but never losing sight of the promise.

Many years passed when I was inactive I would read my scriptures in hopes to hopefully pin point the perfect verse that would sum it all for me. Never realizing it wasn’t the scriptures at all, it was my heart and soul.

I wasn’t putting all my Strength and believe in anything but what the word told me so. I had this Huge Epic Story of many generations of many people’s lives, and so many wonderful stories about how to overcome any obstacle. “JUST BELIEVE”, that is what I only knew. It was never enough.

I then started going back to church at a really nice Methodist church where I essentially grew up at. I was able to be part of the many wonderful blessing I had grown up knowing and feeling so great to be a chaperone at my church that I grew up in many years before.

Knowing so much more and becoming so much wiser and astute as before. I was feeling so good about my Faith and my Desires to be the best Christian I could be for my church. I was on the path. I soon met a wonderful woman and she really pulled me even deeper into the church life I was feeling so amazing.

The bottom fell out when I realized that she had been lying to me, and cheating behind my back and doing drugs. This really crippled me as a person. To know that the woman I have fallen for and was very wise in the church was doing these atrocious things with no disregard for herself or her family.

I prayed many nights crying out to the Lord to please take Satan out of her heart. It seemed only to drive it further down the wrong path.

I soon became bitter at my church for allowing this to happen and went to my pastor on many occasions asking why he wouldn’t pray for her. He told me that she was beyond his control and couldn’t cast out the demon inside her.

At this Point I fell very deep into a dark hole. Wondering why God, or Jesus, or anyone of Absolute would ever allow this. Being on a High for many months and believing that life couldn’t get any higher I broke everything off with my Church that I grew up in.

I tried not to blame the church or my faith; I tried to not blame anyone because it’s just how it went. So I went back into a hole again working and doing nothing but making money and thinking it would solve my problems. And as we all know it didn’t because I was still alone in this world with my own version of Faith. I never stopped and never left my Bible.

Then I started taking lessons from friends of mine that had a friend that was on his mission. Well it was really good to feel the power start to rush through my veins again and be able to make progress. I was always very concerned about LDS people because I grew up hearing the Cult Version of the stories.

I always tried to focus on important things that allowed me to become a good Christian. Well so the story goes on. My LDS friend starts really pushing LDS on me and it scared me as a Christian I had never known someone to tell me I can’t join him or any of my family in my afterlife if I don’t convert and know the truth.

So I then again stepped back out of the church light.

So now I am back on my track again. I really did a lot of research and never stopped learning. I wanted to know why this “friend” was telling me all these just horrible things why would he act like I was a non-believer? I couldn’t settle for that I knew in my heart that I was a Good Christian.

So I got the Book of Mormon read it cover to cover just like I did with my New King James when I was 10 years old. I read all the amazing stories in there as well.

Almost 3 months ago I started taking lessons again with my new found love and overwhelming joy. She has touched my soul enabling me to express my desires to be a good Christian.

I graduated my lessons and had my interview just over a month ago. I was Baptized on 6/22 and haven’t been more happy in my life.

Knowing the Truth of the Religion I always knew in my heart and all the Things I have longed to feel are finally in my heart and I know that someday I will face to face with Joseph Smith and he will tell me how wonderful I am and how proud he is of my choices.